Fred, again bored with life, ventured into the internet seeking cheap thrills. Suddenly, the path in front of him exploded into a massive, seizure inducing array of colors. "Fortunes Told Cheap!" the sign read. Fred decided it was worth his time, and he might actually learn his future. Following blindly, Fred journeyed into the Domain of the Future.

The Milk Mystic, seeing the newcomer, turned on the Flash Movies. Fred was surrounded by an ominous light, and haunting music began to play. "Heeellllllllllooo," Milk Mystic chanted, "Welcome to my hut of the future! Welcome, Fred!"

Fred was shocked that this woman would even know his name, let alone that he was in a Hut of the Future! "If you really can see the future, tell me something that will happen soon."

The Milk Mystic reached for her cow, caressed it gently, and sang a crazy cultish chant. "OhohoohhOHgarraaaaaagarrraaaaaOH! You will soon meet with a long lost love."

"Binary!" Fred knew that this Milk Mystic, strange as she was, may have a knowledge of the future. "Fred," the Milky One stated, "The cow demands a token payment of $5.00 to pay off the guards of the future to allow his entry." Fred transferred 5 dollars from his online banking account to the Udder Being. The cow began streaming data from the future.

"Fred, soon you will be visited by a loved one. Ommmmmm... She will only remain for a short while, then she will be lost to you. Fwappaappappapaa... You will have a terrible automobile accident, but pass through with minimal scarring and ligament damage. Liiiilliioloo! Parse error in Line 230 of future.php."

Parse error? How could that come out of a future-sighted bovine? Fred knew he had been tricked by the Milk Mystic, and turned to leave. Milky decided that wasn't to good for bussiness, and locked the door. "Stay awhile, Fred, we need to talk. The sooner you hand over your cash, the sooner you can leave my money maker of the future" She lifted her arm to reveal a BSOD bomb. One false move and you won't be leaving my IIS server of doom for a long time.

Fred, usually prepared for the worst, was now confronted with a terrible choice. If the M$ based server crashed, it would be days before he managed to get out. However, IIS servers had such lax security he might make it out in time. Faking a move to his wallet, he leapt for the door, drawing his cannon and firing at the door. Not only did the door vanish, but the shockwave crippled the password protection. soon, every lock and code was set to "password." Countless scanners were logging in to search and destroy, and all the searching was done. Fret leapt out of the building, as a massive shock emanated from the building. Soon, nothing by wreckage was left.

Fred, disappointed with the grim future giving by the php based cow, decided the future was best dealt with in a proactive way. Binary was out there somewhere, and he was determined to find her. If only there was a site that had a huge cluster of computers that searched the web for keywords in a patent protected "page rank" technology. Suddenly, Fred noticed an ad that was not insanely obtrusive. It featured an accurate, text based description of the sites involved. Surely a site so responsible would have clues to a massive search engine he could use.

Google provided more then anything Fred could ever imagine. Such a cluster of searching tools would easily find Binary, wherever she might be. HE ran home to get into VirtuFred for safety, and to find Binary, wherever she was now.