Fred was busy cleaning up his server when his phone rang. Lightly disturbed but angered, he answered.

"Operator"

"Fred, my good sir. It is the great hommex. What art thou up to, friend."

"I'm cleaning, and I'm eating dinner with my family in half an hour. I haven't cleaned the house in ages, and I'm in a bad mood."

"Cool" replied hommex. "I've got to show off my Chixx0r here, and she needs to meet you."

Fred was perturbed. "Fool of a Took" he thought, angrily, and went to get confirmation from the system administrator that the server would stay up past the standard monthly reboot. Hommex was well aware of the standard procedure for wackiness.org, he must be excited about this. Sadly for Fred, the server would go down as planned, and hommex was already on the way. Fred was in an awkward situation now, as he had no place to keep his guests. "Stuponfuous", he thought, and went to try and light a fire or something to keep his friend out of the cold.

Hommex and the chixx0r arrived minutes later, with Fred in a tight spot and no way out. He would need to make the best of the situation, whatever that might be, and he walked to greet his friend, shivering in the cold.

"hommex", he cried, "You've caught me at a bad time. The server is down for maintenance, so I'm afraid I can't invite you in."

"Not a problem, good friend" laughed the hommex, "I must now keep my new years resolution to go on twenty dates. You get to meet the first."

The Chixx0r, awkwardly standing in the cold of the T1 line, offered a polite greeting. Fred mumbled a reply, but he was angered by the surprise visit. He was more angered when the great beast Mozilla walked into the T1 line.

Fred had fought the Mozilla before, in the real world, but he had defeated it without superhuman effort and with minimal ecosystem damage. Now the great beast walked slowly towards him, filling the entire pipeline. Fred, recalling his training in the gaming world, pulled free his twin heavy pistols from the wall. 14 large bullets found their way into the beast, but he marched on, growling with rage.

Fred shoved the hommex and Chixx0r behind him, and summoned his inner Daemon. It was a fiery attack, usually causing more bad then good, but now was not the time to follow standard safety procedure.

Fred exploded into a digital blowtorch, burning the flesh of the Mozilla, and also rupturing the pipe he was stuck in. Packet loss became greater and greater, one of the few things that can crush a pipe so strong as the T1 that went exclusively to Fred's home. 99.99% packet loss was one of them. Fred's ears began to pop, then were removed from his skull. hommex and Chixx0r hung on for dear life further up the pipe. Mozilla, confused, in pain, and worried, was pulled towards the gaping hole in the pipe. Going headfirst into the jagged scar of fiber optic strands, he was ripped into many pieces, which conveniently wove a net, which eased the pressure loss inside the line. Fred was able to reopen his server, and climb inside, dragging his friends behind him, before the net gave out, destroying most all data inside the line at the time.

Hommex, Chixx0r, and Fred were soon able to call the cable company, get the damage repaired, and send his friends back to their respective homes, offering to be a much more accommodating host next time they came to visit.