Fred awoke to the foul stench of something dead at his door. He got up, and stumbled his way to the front of his site, and, packet cannon in hand, slowly opened the door. A cockatrice corpse stared him in the eyes. Giving it a poke, he guessed that one of the local crazies was at it again, and gave it a hard kick and re locked his door. He shuffled his way back to his bed, unloaded the cannon, and went back to sleep.

Keeping a watchful eye on the house of Fred was a squad of trained assassins. The notorious Het Hitler, the sacreligious Jesustron 2000, and the androgynous Roxi Lafond. All were trained in the arts of Counter Strike and Ricochet, and were individually capable of removing Fred from the net. Surely as a team, they were unstoppable. Het Hitler was a robot supremsist, created by a neo Nazi group to create an Aryan Race on the Internet, with an overcomplex plan eventually leading to Thermonuclear War. He had dozens of trained workers, and his excellent retirement plan ensured they would not turn their backs on him in his moment of need.

Fred was quite unaware of any of this, as he started to wake up for a second time. He half remembered something about a monster corpse, outside maybe? He could no longer sense anything, though once his coffee kicked in he would remember that the cockatrice corpse was a death warning on the web. He chugged down the rest of his Medium Coffee (Pausing to chuckle at the marketing by calling the Grande coffee a 'Medium') and opened the door

As the stimulants surged through his body, the events of the night came back into the functioning portions of his brain. He dove to the ground, right as a pair of bullets ripped open his door right where his head was moments ago. He rolled to cover, pulling out his vast selection of portable weapons. He checked the power cell on his Gauss Pistol, and spun up the cylinder. Rapidly looking for possible sniping points, he felt time slow around him. Someone nearby knew their matrix effects, and Fred pulled out a second Gauss Pistol for that akimbo style bonus.

Roxi Lafond took a flying leap from the building across the cable, and rained death from above with his UDP-11. UDP rounds tore up the ground around Fred's feet, but through miracles of random recoil effects, Fred was unharmed. Blasting at Roxi with the fully charged Gauss in his left hand, he was amazed to see Roxi pull out a grenade and drop it before being removed from this universe.

The threat was gone, but there remained the problem of a small grenade coming down from above. Pulling out his portable Bubble Soap, he blew a giant bubble around the grenade, and another around himself. Such a defense would've worked if Jesustron 2000 hadn't snuck up behind him. The knife came through the bubble and into Fred's skull. The bubble with the grenade exploded, knocking Fred and his foe backwards at maximum velocity.

Het Hitler saw Fred fly for about a second before hitting the wall, but the relativity of webtime and FTP dilation, Fred felt like he covered many miles, over several minutes. This gave him more than enough time to undo the head shot with knife inflicted on him by Jtron 2000, and get rid of the knife. He just managed to strap his Orcish Bicycle Helmet on before smashing into the wall.

His helmet shattered upon impact, but Fred was somewhat intact. Using what was left of his arm, he managed to draw his Sniper Pistol and blast the malicious Jesustron, who had not experienced the time dilation as much as Fred.

Het Hitler was painfully aware that his cronies were cast aside by Fred with some effort, but no where near the amount of force was used to kill Fred. Het H was convinced, somehow, that Fred was the only thing standing between him and Robot Supremacy in both worlds, even though they had never fought or even meet. Villains need to think those kinds of things, or they lose their certification (Microsoft Certified Villain Engineer) and are laughed out of the Villain Cafe and Adult Entertainment. That stuff is only for the meanest of the mean.