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The Midnight Ride of Fred
Fred was messing around with his robotic body, trying to find a way to transfer his virtual speed to his real body. Finally finishing his job, he started to run as fast as he could. Flying out the door at top speed, he ran down the highway. Passing cars as he ran, he found himself going around the world. Soon he found himself slowing to a halt. His GPS was no longer registering, so he didn't know where he was.
He was near a city, so he walked into the town. Everyone was dressed in clothes similar to those used in the Revolutionary War.
Fred walked into the town, hoping his unusual clothes would go undetected. All around him, women pulled their kids into their houses. Everyone panicked over the appearance of this strange man. Fred soon became aware of the panicked nature of the city, and left the city at top speed.
Outside the town, Fred noticed a massive formation of military personnel, dressed in red and approaching the town. Fred hid out of sight, and tried to figure out what had happened. He had circled the Earth, around the equator, 239,230,525,253 times. At his speed and following the known laws of time travel, he was somewhere in the 1700s. He needed to identify who these troops were, and then he could figure out exactly where he was.
Running through the British movement, he grabbed every piece of paper carried by a redcoat. Reading through them, and comparing it to his extensive knowledge of history, he found no record of a British army in this area in 1781. He thought to himself, "wouldn't it be cliché for the British to have a sneak attack unrecorded in history because the whole town was destroyed?" Fred ran back to the town to warn everyone.
At the hour of seven
rode through the street
trying to save this peaceful heaven
his feet racing to a fast tempoed beat.
Fred called for attention
warning the common-folk of their plight
He cried, "I'm from another dimension
and the British are coming this night!"
The town folk gathered their guns and their knives
Men from all over took up their arms
out to battle they marched, guns at their sides
The British, quite shocked, raised up their alarms.
The battle began, with gun shots galore
Men dropped to the ground, dying that day
Yet Fred fought on, ignoring the gore
Shooting bright lightning at all in his way
Thus the town of the south was saved from the attack
And Fred was the hero of all that were near.
A statue was raised, reading, "Fred pushed them back"
When one said, "Fred's a hero" all others yelled, "here here!"
Having saved the town from it's doom, Fred was accepted into their culture. Staying for a few days to replant the damaged crops and talk to the townfolk. A few days later, he decided it was time to return to his own town. All the women started to cry, their chance to marry a war hero heavily reduced.
Fred ran backwards along his original path, and found himself back in Texas. Walking inside his factory, he oiled his joints and went back into the Internet to rest. He went to check on the town he had visited's history. He was surprised to see that a famous poem was written about a mysterious Fred, who supposedly saved the town from an entire army. Few people believed it, but Fred knew he had done a good thing, despite damaging his robotic self someday he would return to the little town of the past, but now he needed to sleep. |
